Why Pikachu?
by LilyVanity
Summary: Ash regrets a decision that cost him one of the most important things in his life. One stupid crave to get better turned into disaster. Misty can try to calm him with words, but nothing can help at this point. The memory itself is too painful to look back on. Why Pikachu? Why?


Ash looked in the mirror, tears sliding down his tanned face. He couldn't believe what happened, it wasn't real, and it was just a nightmare. Or at least he wished it was.

"I hate you," He punched the mirror, "I hate you," he punched it again, "I HATE YOU!" the final blow causing the already cracked glass to shatter across the room. He held his bleeding fist close to his chest and cried in the middle of the bathroom.

"Oh, Ash…" Misty said as she found him curled on the floor covered in tears and blood.

"Misty, why?! Why did it have to be this way?!"

"Shh… it's okay, you'll be fine. I promise, it's hard on everyone, but time heals all wounds."

"I don't care. I don't want to have to heal. I just want everything back to normal!"

"Ash, I know. Listen, we'll go visit him tonight. You, Brock and I can all go together, and maybe we can leave him a bottle of ketchup or something. Afterwards we can go out to dinner and try to cheer up. He wouldn't want you acting this way; he'd want you to be happy."

We've been together from the very start, and now he's gone. He can't be gone, he can't be."

"Ash… please, just be ready in an hour. We'll go pay our respects then. Pikachu would want you to keep being your good old happy self, not a sniveling wreck. I'll check on you when it's time to go." Misty left Ash alone. There was not much she could do for him at that point except for pray to Arceus that Pikachu had made it safely to the great world beyond what the naked eye can see. His departure hit everyone where it truly hurts, the heart. But anyone could see that it was killing Ash the most.

"Misty doesn't know anything." Ash muttered to himself, "Yeah, Togetic left, but she let that happened. She had control over the situation. And I know I've left Pokémon behind, but they were at home, with Mom or Professor Oak. Charizard wanted to get stronger and I see him every now and then. But Pikachu won't be coming back. I shouldn't have pushed him so hard."

He did not want to admit what harsh reality had taken the life of his dearest companion. It was his strive for victory, his need to be the best. It was his own stupid fault that this had happened. "Dammit!" Ash cried out. This was too much to bear.

_Flashback_

"Pikachu, come on! We need to get stronger! We have to beat the Elite Four! We need to be the best!" Ash called out, frustration rising. He had never felt so competitive in his life. He was not ten anymore, he was seventeen. Battling was not a game, it was a sport. The need to win had taken over.

"Pika, pikachu!" Pikachu yelled as he used thunderbolt on a fairly fried tree stump.

"Now, iron tail! And make this one count!" Ash exclaimed. The sky was quickly darkening and thunder was starting to roll in. _Excellent, _Ash thought,_ a storm is coming. Maybe with all of the rain and lightning, it will help Pikachu's attacks get stronger. Maybe some excess energy will be absorbed into his cheek pouches. We could take the league on tonight and win! Just Pikachu and I!_

"Pi-pikaaa chu!" Pikachu hit the stump with his iron tail, nearly splitting the burnt wood in half.

"Alright buddy, when the storm gets its strongest, try to absorb the energy from the lightning. Then use thunder! If this works, we can take on the Pokémon League tonight!" Ash yelled over the roaring thunder with a triumphant grin glued onto his face. That grin disappeared just as quickly as it came.

Pikachu was lying on the ground, greatly injured. His little body could not take all that excess electricity. A little bit, sure, but not as much as he took. Ash could not even pick him up; otherwise he himself could get electrocuted. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Ash yelled out angrily. "For the love of Arceus!" He began to grow angry at himself. He should have made Pikachu get used to the pokéball; he should have known this was a crazy idea in the first place. He probably should have never gotten rid of those rubber gloves his mother had given him when he first got Pikachu.

"Pi-pikaaa" the electric mouse whimpered.

"No, Pikachu, it's okay. I'm sorry! I didn't think it would hurt you! Dammit!" Ash tried not to cry, but it was becoming too hard. Slowly, tear drops began shimmering down his now twisting face. "You… you can make it… I know you can…" his voice barely a whisper.

Pikachu touched Ash's hand and smiled. He knew it was an accident, he understood it was not Ash's fault that there was too much energy in that one lightning bolt. He knew Ash wouldn't be able to take him to the Pokémon center without getting himself killed in the process, and then it would be too late for the both of them. At this gesture Ash simply lost it.

The little mouse's heart finally gave out, unable to hold in all the electrical energy. Ash held him close to his chest.

"Ash, we've been looking for you guys since the storm started. Why are you out he—" Misty stopped short as she and Brock came across the boy and his pikachu. One look and they both knew that Pikachu was gone.

"Oh Ash…" Brock whispered as the two of them walked to their companion and embraced him, along with the now dead Pikachu.

_End Flashback_

Ash could not stop crying as they approached the small tombstone. It read "_Here lies Pikachu, the sweetest and bravest creature this world will never know."_ Ash would never again here the yellow mouse call out to him after winning a battle. Never would he hear sighs of exasperation at his own ignorance or the sound of excitement at a new adventure.

"Ash, any last words you want to say to Pikachu?" Brock asked.

"Pikachu…" Ash sniffled, "You were the best friend I will ever have. No one could ever, and I mean EVER, replace you. I-I'm sorry for being so damn stupid. I was caught up in the moment. I-I l-love you buddy."

"It's okay Ash. He understands. Let's go." Misty grabbed his hand and led him away from the grave. And with that the trio if friends went off into the foggy horizon, rain and depression the only things on their mind.


End file.
